Curse you, Half.com

Since this is my only outlet against Half.com by eBay, I will rant here, where no one will see or hear or care.

Background Information:

I purchased a textbook from Half.com on Feb. 11 close to midnight. They posted the charge of $13.99 to my credit card on Feb. 11, but I didn't even receive a confirmation email until Feb. 12!

I wait for my textbook to arrive.

and wait...

and wait...

and wait...

until I forget I even ordered it.

Luckily I keep a copy of all my unresolved emails in my inbox. April 11, as I'm cleaning out my emails, I notice the original receipt. Since I haven't received my textbook, I send Half.com an email asking them to refund my money or send me my book!

I wait...

and wait...

Until April 29 when I send another email.

and wait...

and wait...

and wait...

Well, you get the picture. Come June 2, I decide to really do something about this. I go on Half.com's website customer support, where I can't even find a record of my transaction, even using the transaction number they gave me in the email! So I Google search a customer service number, which I proceed to call twice, only to get a recording saying that "all the information is on our website or you can email us for help...click!" It HANGS UP ON ME! Only then do I notice the hundreds, okay, probably more like several dozen, posts on the Google search site that says NO ONE receives what they order and NO ONE gets their money back.

Two lessons learned...DON'T PROCRASTINATE on dealing with financial concerns, and NEVER, NEVER, NEVER order anything from Half.com again!

Cleft Living

I had a revelation in bible study today, and since I needed to process it, I thought I would write about it here. I am studying "A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place," the revised version by Beth Moore. We were reading Exodus 33, where Moses pleads with God to not send the Israelites on their way if He is not going to go with them. At the end of the chapter, God reveals His goodness and His glory to Moses by placing him in the cleft of the mountain with His hand covering him, letting Moses only see His back. Beth said, paraphrased, could it be that there are dark times in our life not because God is absent but because He has hidden us in a cleft and covered us with His hand while He works for our good in the heavenlies? We won't always be able to see God coming, or even working during those tough times, but if we are waiting and looking for it, we'll be able to see His back as He leads us out into our promised lands.
Oh, how I needed to hear that. Mohit and I have been through a dark season these last couple of months, and I am just now starting to see the dawn. While we agree on a theorhetical concept, we have not been able to agree on the practical application in our own life. This is something we have struggled with for six years of our eight year marriage. When the issue finally came to a head, and I couldn't see any possibility of light in our future, God gave me a song by Josh Wilson, "Before the Morning." The lyrics are as follows:

Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you?
If there's a God who loves you
Where is He now?
Or maybe, there are things you can't see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending.
Someday, somehow, you'll see, you'll see.

Would you dare, would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing?
'Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can't compare to the joy that's coming.
So hold on, you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
'Cause the pain that you've been feeling
Is just the dark before the morning.

My friend, you know how this all ends,
And you know where you're going.
You just don't know how you'll get there
So say a prayer.
And hold on
'Cause there's good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot,
It might take a little time, but you'll see the bigger picture

Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory.

As I was looking up these lyrics to write them here, I stumbled upon the story behind the song. Check it out here.

Now, as I'm watching the dawn break over our marriage, I can rejoice in the fact that God hid us in the cleft, covered us with His hand, while He worked in the heavenlies and in our hearts. I'm not sure what our future will hold, but I face it confidently, knowing I can praise and glorify God for what He has purposed for us.

Sadness...and a better future?

We found out 14 months ago that Ethan has some allergies. I say some, though I really should say, "TONS!" He is allergic to wheat, oats, rye, barley, soy, egg, dairy, beef, pineapple, melon/cantaloupe, peanuts (so badly we have to carry an epipen with us everywhere), and the biggest one...dogs!

My first children were our two beagles, Snoopy and Rebel. I received Snoopy as my first-year anniversary gift from Mohit. We adopted Rebel 1.5 years later to keep Snoopy company. They have been my constant companions through all the snowstorms, the power outages, the move across country, Mohit's business trips, sleepless nights with Ethan, and more. And about a month ago, I realized we needed to find them another home. It was a struggle, and the Lord took His time convincing me, but I realized that Ethan's skin rashes would never clear up while we had two shedding dogs in our house.

So, the search began. I typed up a flyer and announced it in my classes, had my parents send it out to their friends and coworkers, contacted a beagle-only rescue organization in Seattle and announced it as a prayer request at Bible study. This was the wool I laid out before God: If You have prepared a home, let that family come forward and want both dogs. Give me peace about it. If they are meant to stay with us, let no one contact us. I didn't want to have to agonize over whether or not a family would take care of my four-legged children like I did. I wanted to know and feel okay about giving them away.

PTL, a woman from my Bible study spoke to her husband. They had been looking to add a dog to their family for quite some time, and nothing seemed to work out. They came to visit Snoopy and Rebel last Tuesday with their 10-month-old son, and they fell in love.

Now the house is quiet. No dogs welcoming me home from a hectic day at work. No dogs whining on the back of the couch an hour before feeding time. No worries if someone comes to the door during Ethan's naps, because there is no Snoopy to barrel down the stairs, howling all the way. No need to go for a walk every day, unless I'm feeling a little stir crazy. No Snnopy scratching at the comforter to be lifted up so they can snuggle between my legs at night. No Rebel laying on my pillow, making me shove him over so I can have two inches of mattress space to rest my weary body.

I have grieved for my loss, but I take comfort in the fact that this is for the best. Snoopy and Rebel are "just" dogs. They will adjust and transfer their loyalty to their new family, who will love them and cherish them as I have. Ethan's back is already cleared up. No rash whatsoever! I don't have to worry if I remembered to lock the trash cans or pushed the food on the island back from the edge. I don't have to rush home if I've been out shopping too long to let them out back for potty time. I can leave the door open as I juggle bringing in the groceries and keeping an eye on my wayward 21-month-old son. I don't have to fight with three leashes on my walks around our neighborhood. In fact, I don't have to leash my son anymore, as I can devote all my attention to him and keeping him alive as he explores his world. We don't have to humbly ask my parents to watch them for a weekend if we want to travel, or pay an exorbitant amount of money to kennel them while we visit friends or family far away.

All those positives don't make the emptiness in my chest any less painful. But they do allow me to look forward to the future knowing that God knows best. Life will continue, we will adjust to the new seasons as God brings them to us, and we will give Him glory for His provisions.

My MIL's words echo in my head whenever I start to feel sorry for myself, "It is the privilege of a mother to sacrifice for her children." May I never forget the sacrifice God made for me! Help me remember to be joyful in all things, knowing that God's ways are bigger and better than my own.

Changes...

Since I haven't been very good at keeping a journal to remember Ethan's milestones, I thought I would try to record them here on the blog.

• First smile with Appacha on March 21.


• Begins singing with us around middle of April.


• Grabs at his first toy on April 25.


• First laugh with Mama and Papa on May 15.


• Enjoys jumping in his jumperoo beginning of June.

He still hasn't rolled over or slept longer than four hours at night or sat up by himself. He is a lot of fun to watch, though, as he explores his world.

End of the Year

Wow, time has flown by. Ethan Kiran Abraham was born on January 27 at 2:33pm. He was 4 weeks early and 7 lbs 2 oz, 19 inches long. The cord was wrapped around his neck, so when he came out (by vacuum after two hours of pushing), he was white and not breathing. Then, he spent seven days in the NICU for four reasons: 1) he couldn't keep his oxygen saturation levels high enough, 2) they needed to give him antibiotics through an IV in his forehead, 3) he was jaundiced and put under the lights for 24 hours, and 4) he wasn't gaining enough weight fast enough. When he finally came home, we were ready for him.

I didn't like leaving him in the nursery, but I was able to catch up on sleep, finalize preparations for bringing him home (since he was early) and Mohit and I were able to get lots of advice and practice at being first-time parents. The doctor let me stay in the hospital an extra two days (I had a fourth degree tear), so for the last three days Ethan was still at the hospital I would arrive at the nursery about 8:30am and leave to go home around 10:30pm.

Man do babies sleep a lot in that first month! Even with all that sleep, we were worn out feeding him every three hours! Crazy. Mohit's family came to visit for Ethan's dedication at the end of March. They were here for almost three weeks; great times! April 13 I returned to work. I had enjoyed staying home with Ethan; I was very depressed returning to work. However, the first day back I was welcomed with a poster my students had made letting me know how much they missed me. Since I had to go back to work, I was thankful it was to a job I love. By the fourth week back, I was excited about working part time next year. (Mohit had lost his job at Teradyne and not found another one, so I was going to be the bread winner). When Mohit accepted a job on Friday, May 22, I had a decision to make - whether to continue and work part time or take a leave of absence for one year. While I love teaching, I only get to see Ethan grow up once. I hate being tired and unable to appreciate the time I have with him when I come home from a full day of work. So, I am cleaning out my room and am SO excited to have the option to stay home with my wonderful son! School ends June 22...only 13 more days of work before FREEDOM!

You can see pictures of Ethan from 0-3 months and 3-6 months.

Ruminations on '08 and '09

Yesterday, I put away all the Christmas decorations around the house. This is usually such a melancholy time for me. I play my Christmas music one last time and reminisce about the past year. This time, however, I played a mix of music and really thought about what was coming up in '09. I wonder if the difference is that now I'm seven months pregnant and really looking forward to having a baby to hold in my arms, rather than lugging around the extra weight around my middle! :)

2008 has been a great year for us. First of all (of course) we're pregnant! However, I also got to go on a Hawaiian cruise, visit family in the Middle East, and enjoy living close to my own parents once again. My second year of teaching at Camas High School has been great! I feel like I've finally grown into who I am as a teacher and am having a blast. I've always known I loved teaching, but there were always hardships and troubles before. This year, I actually feel like a real adult in a real career. (Pinocchio has finally become a real boy!) It's hard to describe, but God has definitely performed a great work in my life.

2009 promises to be great, but might hold it's own challenges as well. Our son is due on February 25. I'll take two months off and then return for the last six weeks of school. Mohit's project will be completed sometime in February (deadline is end of January), which will free him up some. However, we're praying there aren't anymore layoffs in March!

Just some thoughts as I'm sitting at home, slightly bored, and procrastinating doing any real work!

Let it snow! NOOO!

Ya know, I thought that when we left New Hampshire, we had escaped winter weather that included snow. Of course, with "climate change," you can never know what to expect. :) We started off with a few snow flurries and ice that shut down school the week before Christmas break. I thought it was a little over done until I realized they don't salt or plow the roads. In fact, chains are required here, whereas in NH, they weren't even allowed because they always cleared the roads.

Missing school wasn't the worst part of it all. Now, I'm stuck in the house, unable to go anywhere, because our chains weren't working correctly. It has been fun trudging through the snow with Mohit to walk the dogs, even though it's freezing with high winds. We're expecting several more days of this, but after Christmas it's supposed to warm up. I'm hoping things melt away quickly! Oh well, at least we'll have a white Christmas this year.